Cool Financial

Ok, so some guys dream of shooting down the highway at a blistering 175+/MPH is some super expensive Italian sports car (blame it on their tiny weanies). Then others have visions of granduer for a waaaaayyyyyyyyy overpriced British POS that’s worth more than the average American house.

I’m different then the rest of the pack (or should I say flock of sheep) because the car of my dreams can be had for under $6000. If I were ever to get it, my dreams of it might end, but I would be oh-so-happy to get an old VW bug with a powder blue coating of paint. It doesn’t even have to be in mint condition, if you really want to know the truth.

What does that say about me? Who gives a shit …

Why is it always the asshole in the leased, 5 year old, lowest class BMW (who probably lives in a shack of an apartment, or worse: has 15 roommates) who thinks he’s better than everyone else? LOL

Truth: In life, you have to act f#@king normal … if not, then it’s not worth living and you should just go end it all, because no one likes you and your life sucks anyways (you just didn’t know it).

The way I see it, this is is how 99.99999999% of the people who have graced this shitty show go from point A (fame whore) to point B (angry nobody):

1) Send in a video acting like a bigger asshole than everyone else.

2) MTV decides to exploit your stupidity. Good for you!

3) You cheat on that dumbass you left at home.

4) You either get in a racial fight with a roommate, have drunken sex with a roommate, find out you’re gay or get kicked off.

5) You cry in the sappy finale.

6) You wind up on “The Challenge” to stretch out your 15 minutes of fame to their fullest.

7) You do a bit part in a crappy, low budget, d-rated comedy. 

8) Back to oblivian! You are now back in Loserville … telling all your loser friends how cool you are.

Thanks MTV, for letting us all watch this phoney shit all these years, while making assholes out of these morons. ”Real World” my ass. More like “The Road To Unsuccess”!

Hey guys … another work week in the books. Woo Hoo!

Read this Peter Fick original quote, live by it, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll be changing the world for the better, one person at a time: 

When life hands you lemons, throw them at the Joneses’ heads for trying to rub all their fancy shit in your face!

Ok, I’m Audi 5000. All this talk about lemons is making me jones for a Margarita! LOL. It’s 5 o’clock somewhere, ya heard?

Ok, just want to get a couple random things off my chest …

1) What is up with eBay buyers who don’t leave a feedback review? Did I not go out of my way, and bend over backwards to give you great service? Did you not know that I’m looking to build up my reputation on eBay as a great seller, and you’re messing that up for me by not taking two seconds out your “busy” day. Come on now … let other buyers know how swell of a guy I am!

2) Why is the government trying to take our guns away from us? As a card-carrying NRA member, I truly believe that when the government gets out of hand, and the peaceful protests aren’t getting through their thick skulls, then it’s time to put the power back into the hands of the people … and not into the grubby paws of some rich ass, out of touch with reality, group of ”representatives” (who do they represent anyways? Not me. You? Yea, I though not!).

Ok, I feel better now. Try it sometimes … don’t let that random shit bottle up! LOL. It’ll kill you … or at least rack up those doctor bills!

I’ll make this short and sweet … read my quote, get out from behind that desk, and then scram. It’s 5 o’clock somewhere!

“Crude” oil is the perfect name for it … describes the greedy assholes who are raising the gas prices to a T!

Alright, catch you cats later! Yours truly NOW has a beer in hand. Peace out Homey!

You ever have your good eye on something on eBay, and placed a hefty bid … confident that you would get it? Then, to your amazement, some shitbird swooped in at the last second and outbid you by a lousy cent?!! Go on, let the swearing commence. 

This shit is a pretty common practice, to be honest with you. Want to get back at these sniping a-holes? Great, then read on my friend, read on …

You probably won’t be outbid if you stop the nickel-and-diming bullshit bids and go for a reasonably HIGH bid with a good max amount set (read: the best you can do under your circumstances, cheap bastard. LOL). The reason for this: if your bid is nice and high then the POS sniper might feel that your secret bid is way too high, and this high MAX bid is out of his comfort zone. Then you got this little pussy up against the ropes, and little Johnny might not want to play any more … boo hoo. The results: you WIN!

Another tip: ALWAYS bid using ODD numbers. For instance, if you plan to bid $50.00 for something, put in $50.73 or another odd amount of cents behind it. This way, it’s harder for the sniper to pinpoint your bid, and if they really want it then they’ll really have to bid for it! Again, you win because you didn’t let that loser win cheaply.

Lastly young Jedi, one more lesson: when I’m bidding on an item and only want to spend $50 … and the shipping is $9.95, I don’t put in a bid for $40.05 (that’s kid shit). No, to throw off my sniper, I bid $40.99 or $41.17, or something like that. Trust me, one extra cent in your bid could make all the difference in the world! And leave a “deadly” eBay sniper pissing his pants crying.

Good luck, my friend. Good luck. It’s a rough world out there on eBay, and you just brought an UZI to a gun fight!

What asshole ever said that your car is an extension of you? The auto industry assholes, of course (or the sheep that believe their garbage)! And it’s not true, by the way. Your car is merely a tool … it isn’t an  ”extention of you” (not by a long shot).

Why in the world would you waste the cash for a new car? In a nutshell, it’s all about ego, plain and simple. You want to impress people, and you want to be seen as being somewhat well off. You see your car as a status symbol. And that’s alright (kind of), but consider how much stinking money you are pouring into that freaking status symbol. Here’s the funny part: the auto industry has grown wealthy off of their bullshit ego talk.

So, here’s a novel idea for saving cash: drive it till it dies! Make a commitment to your old car, especially if you are reasonably happy with it. Do the maintenance and suck out every last mile from it. Heck, my car is 11 years old. So what? Old Red got me through some shit! Sure, I don’t have shallow people telling me what an “AWESOME” ride I have. Again, who gives a flying turd?

Don’t let them convince you that you need a new car every couple of years. Will your current car depreciate in value? Sure it will. So if you buy a new car, it will be worth more than your “old” car, right? Of course it will (duh). What those bastards won’t tell you is this: a new car depreciates so much faster than an older car. Older cars like yours only depreciate to a certain level and hold steady for the most part.

That’s the key, my man (or lady): drive it till it takes its last breath. Then use the money you’d be spending on a car payment to save, invest or make other key purchases. It’s YOUR freaking money, don’t just blow it on the bank’s crazy interest rates!

Remember the good old days … when we use to get together collectively as a country and fight things like the Vietnam War, racial inequalities, and the Russians (don’t get me started with those ”bastards” that bombed our country with our own planes. Cover up bullshit operation, in my opinion)?

Remember when we had an enemy we could see and fight? Remember when we use to believe that all of us Americans as a whole should stick together to show the rest of the world what a great democracy this country has become? Well, as it stands now that’s all a bunch of bullshit … the corporations have taken over this country and drastically fucked it up. Continue reading…

Hey Gen X … look at this picture. You know what’s up, right? Garbage Pail Kids! 

Well, I might have just found you a bunch of extra revenue if you still have some of these bad boys hiding in a shoebox somewhere since 1987. They’re earning some serious cash on eBay and various fans sites as you read this.

Now, for you younger guys, there was a few re-releases of these cards in 2003, 2005 and 2010 … and none of them are worth a shit.  Here’s a hint for the future: never buy re-releases … EVER! They’ll never be worth a dime.

Back to my generation … if you do find some of these little gold mines, go to this site to find out more info on what you have —-> http://www.wgpkr.com/ . Hope you got a few hundred worth … good luck!